Twilight Spoof.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZGles1k74w&eurl=http://clarkandclark.blogspot.com/&feature=player_embedded

So I stole this from my friend Rori. Thanks Rori!!!!! Except I am not blogger savvy enough to get the video to actually be on the blog, so you can click on the link. I thought it was pretty funny. Hope you all enjoy. Only a few more days until Christmas.

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

I found this online and thought it was funny, yet sad. Christmas was so much easier when we were younger. I think it is more fun now though. Merry Christmas.


Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves","Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the North Pole, were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety, released to the wilds, by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear, that Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh, because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA, And millions of people were calling the Cops, when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened, and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose. He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation, demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life, joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz, demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion that making a choice could cause such commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her. Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot, Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific, Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth. And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden, were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden, for they raised the hackles of those psychological, who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt, besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe. Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,he just couldn't figure out what to do next?He tried to be merry he tried to be gay, but you must have to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground, nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might, give to us all, without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision, each group of people in every religion. Every race, every hue, everyone, everywhere...even you! So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...

"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH"

Seriously

Seriously I don't have patience for certain things. I was trying to change my background to a fancy festive Christmas template and somehow I lost my blog list and the fancy festive Christmas template did not work. I definitely do not have a computer certificate of completion from ITT tech but it shouldn't be that hard. (sorry Bill's family that was joke to you hehe). I spent 10 minuets re-adding all my blogs, never clicked the save button and accidentally lost them all again. I almost gave up blogging all together at that moment.

Is it just me or has this happened to others. Also, sorry if your blog didn't make the cut. I will add it back eventually. Happy blogging.

Thanksgiving Extravaganzza

Yea! Thanksgiving is over. It was a whirlwind of a week. It started out on Wednesday with my IUD going missing. No, I am not going to go into detail on this. If you know me well enough to read my blog you may ask all you want about it. I am happy to be a public service announcement on IUD's so just ask, I may even draw some sort of diagram. Anyway, I am not pregnant and after a trip to the Doctor and a trip to the hospital it was all sorted out. All I could think about during the whole ordeal was I had a million things to get done since I had house guests coming that evening. Thank you to Wendy for the pep talk and Justin for taking off work and getting the rest of my "to do" list done.

Thanksgiving day was funny. My test turkey a few weeks back took 2 hours longer than expected and the actual T-day turkey was done 2 hours early. Go figure. Lucky for me most of our guests arrived 3 hours earlier than expected so I just had to call a few people and tell them the time for dinner had changed from 5:00 to right now.

We asked for any volunteer's to say a blessing. My 8 year old nephew Tristan was the first (and only) volunteer. His prayer was as follows "Dear Heavenly Father, please bless the food will be GOOD and that Issac will come up later to play". It was the best and shortest Thanksgiving blessing I had ever heard. His prayers must have been heard since the food turned out pretty good.

Some of the nieces and nephews. Poor Cole he was so confused with all the people in the house.

Justin's brothers and sisters.

One broken treadmill (thanks nephews) 5 dishwasher cycles and a few loads of laundry and Thanksgiving was over. Sunday our last house guests left and the house felt strangely calm. It really was fun to have a house full of Albrecht's. Maybe I am a sucker but I think we will do it again next year.

Cole helping with the basting.

The girls. We never did get a picture of the men, or the whole group for that matter. Oh well, there is always next year. I like that I look exhausted and that I have some type of food or stain on my shirt that no one told me about.

Go Utes!!

Saturday was a great game! Sorry to my BYU friends :( We had a fun day tailgating which included breakfast and lunch. Thanks Ricci's. We took Cole for a few hours and he loved all the people to play with.


Check out the old man behind us. He was close to 117 years old.

The girls - I am not sure who's hand is close to caressing Lauren :).

We thought we would take a picture in the bathroom since we spent forever waiting in lines.

Most of the group. It is kind of a horrible picture of all of us.

Rachel and I. Her comment was "I think I have about 600 pictures of you and I just like this" it is true. I will spare you all the photo montage. Look at all the people tailgating. It was a fun day.

Cole and Cousin Coon. He loved all the attention. He would just toddle over to a new person and hang out.

Cole and Harm. Thanks again for setting up the tickets each year Harm.

Why Hillary is my favorite

Hillary is my favorite because she scored Twilight tickets for us Thursday at 5pm. She has "people" that can do that sort of thing. It was a great surprise. Yep I just got back and it was great. Don't worry I would never spoil it. It was serious business. They were wanding every person with metal detectors and taking cellphones and cameras away, putting them into little white lunch sacks with the owners names and returning them at the end of the movie. I even was frisked - really they were frisking people. Quite the full service evening :) It was easier to get into the White House tour than to see the Twilight movie. They made airport security look easy.

All my Twilight friends enjoy. There were many girlie squeals from the audience, literally the girls behind us were screaming and gasping for breath at one point. Although if they tell you to leave your cellphone in the car, listen to them.

Thank you Hillary :) your the best. If only we could have had your mom drive us to and from the movie - it would have been like we were 14 again.

Test Turkey and Tackle practice

Well the test turkey turned out great. It did however take close to 2 hours longer that I expected. I was glad I didn't have a house full of hungry family waiting. Justin, Cole and I had a lovely mini Thanksgiving at 8:30 at night. A little late, but I was pleased with the outcome and surprised at how much turkey Cole could eat. He just kept saying "mo, mo, mo", which in baby-slang (or baby-bonics as I like to call it) is more.

While we were waiting for the turkey to finish Cole learned he could pull things out of the cupboards and pass them off to the dog. Lovely. Partners in crime. We have lost 2 bottles, a few Tupperware containers and were about 3 seconds away from my cellphone being crunched in the doggy jaws of steel. I did get pretty good at tackling the dog. For being 106 lbs (the dog not me..I would be dead) with 2 replaced knees he is unbelievably fast.

Cole loved it. He would laugh so hard he would fall down. When I would catch the dog he would point at the dog and say "mo, mo, mo". Sadly for him I asked Justin to install the baby locks on the cabinets. Now Cole and Bailey walk from cupboard to cupboard trying to open them and find treasures. Poor little guy at least he is persistent.

What have I done tag.

TagWhat have I done??

Anything in Red is on the yes list.

What have you done?
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo - in 3rd grade
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris - I have been to France though.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child - I was adopted does that count?
16. Had food poisoning - too many times. Twice from Applebees. Yuck.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - I have been there but we couldn't walk to the top.
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept overnight on a train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked -More than once.
23. Taken a sick day when your not ill - the next day my boss asked me if I needed to go home since I still looked terrible. Sad :(
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb My neighbors had one that they treated like a dog for a summer. They even brought it to primary. I guess they figured city kids had never seen a lamb?
26. Gone skinny dipping - with 5 of my closest friends. You know who you are.
27. Run a Marathon - Nope I can't run a mile. I am in the process of training for the mile :)
28. Ridden a gondola in Switzerland
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - I have no idea where that is, so maybe.
35. Seen Amish country
36. Taught yourself a new language -My sister Margie and I speak gibberish not an actual language, but it drives people nuts since they can't understand us.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - Justin has.
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - I even was a girl scout? How did I never sell cookies?
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - I even have a scar.
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar - It's overrated.
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job - surprisingly no. I have had many "you need a better attitude and need to support me as the boss" talks.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone - It was broken for me in surgery, and then pinned back together. I think that counts. I had to spend two summers on crutches.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - With a boy of course. He tried to turn around fast and scraped us up against a brick wall. I then had to go to my dad's office and tell him that I had been sluffing school, with a boy, was on a motorcycle and now needed stitches. All were forbidden in my house. I have a nasty scar to prove it.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - A fish. Yuck on gutting fish.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life -I was working at University Hospital on my lunch/4am dinner break and a CRAZY person pokes her head out of the ladies bathroom and says "do you want to see blood" and then slit her wrist. At that point I didn't know what to do. Did I leave her there and go get help. She did have a knife and could have hurt other patients a few feet away. I sure was not going in there. So I started yelling for help and then total panic broke out with security breaking down the locked door to "take her down" they cuffed her to a wheelchair and took her to the ER with blood going everywhere. It was an eventful night. Years later while I was a sales rep up at the hospital Dr's, nurses and security still ask me " do you want to see blood". Oh the memories at University Hospital.
90. Sat on a jury - I have testified in court though.
91. Met someone famous - I met Steve Young at a funeral.
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. One cavity or less - I have terrible teeth. I don't even know how many cavities I have.

Funny what can change in a day.

About 2 weeks ago Justin and I were talking about what we were going to do for Thanksgiving, since my parents are in MO for the next 3 years. We had been invited to a friends family for dinner (thanks Rachel) which I thought would be a fun change. We tossed around the idea of doing our own little dinner just the 3 of us and even going out.

The next evening Justin came home from work and informed me that we were having Thanksgiving here with his entire family. I found this funny and actually started laughing a little bit before I realised he was serious. By entire I mean 17 people that also includes 7 house guests. The number has slowly dropped from 22 since lucky for me 6 family members are going elsewhere. Thank goodness. I was trying to remember if a huge family dinner was ever discussed. Funny what can change in a day

I am actually excited... now. I have always thought the more the merrier when it comes to a party. Justin's family is also hilarious and really easygoing. Minimal family drama. So if you don't have any place to go for Thanksgiving just come over here. I am even looking at dressing Bailey up in a turkey costume. He likes costumes - really he does.

Today I am cooking a "test" turkey, since I have never actually cooked a turkey before, unless I include a turkey melt. We will see how it goes. It really doesn't sound all that hard. I was surprised at how long it takes to defrost in the fridge. So if any of you have any advice for cooking Thanksgiving for 17 people send it down. Anyone else cooking/hosting? We deserve a girls day out after. Let me know.

Poor turkey :(. At least they aren't very cute to look at.

Go Utes!!

Big game tomorrow!! Go Utes. I hope those Texas Christian University players (I thought I would share what I learned when I googled what TCU's name was) have never seen snow :) If you are going to the game we will see you there.

*Note to the Bills family - if you miss anymore games you may or may not be voted out of the the season ticket club. Just as there was voting to get in to the group (yes Lauren there was, and we all LOVE you and Mike), there may have to be voting to not be in the group. I haven't cleared that by Harm yet, but I bet I could sway his vote. I don't care that you live in Logan. :( Really I just miss you as my bathroom buddy. You will be missed tomorrow.

Look who voted

So sad to say that a second after I snapped this pic he took a spill and whacked his cheek on the coffee table. Even better is that I am taking him to the pediatrician tomorrow. Nothing is better than when your Dr. asks "So...how exactly did this happen". Oh well, I have a friend that works at CPS. Hopefully he will vouch for me as a parent.

Halloween and Birthday Boys!!

Halloween was fun. Cole loved his costume when we first got it. I put him in it a few times to try to get him used to the mane (he was a lion). He would wear it around no problem. Come Halloween he HATED it. It sounded like borderline child abuse if you could have heard him wale. I actually thought it was funny.
We went to a fun birthday party for Lola (thanks again Nat) at a cute farm in Syracuse. Cole loved the animals and somehow won a pumpkin during a piglet race. I still don't know how he won??? But non the less he did win and couldn't have cared less.

Halloween night we had our favorite overnight guests - Ed and Rachel - staying with us and ended up not taking him trick-or-treating since he was being a the cowardly lion at the time. We had a bunch of trick-or-treaters and Justin got sick of the doorbell ringing, so he put the candy on the front step and guess what??? No one dumped the whole bowl. Kids these days.




Look at that happy child!! Justin and I were laughing so hard (we are bad parents, we laugh when our child is crying) we could barely keep still to take a picture.


The next day was Cole's 1st birthday. I can't believe it has been a year!! It really has flown by. We had a little family and close friends party. Cole had protested his afternoon nap so he was asleep when people arrived. I was going to let him sleep another 30 min while people ate until my mother-in-law walked in the door and told me that they had to go soon. I did the unthinkable and woke a sleeping baby......so in all the pic's he looks a bit drugged, but really he is just sleepy. The things you do for family.


After we took his cake away he kept saying "more more more".

The presents - he actually liked the presents and not the boxes like everyone said.

Cole seemed to like the bagel Ed bought him for breakfast more than anything else the whole day. He was holding onto it like it was a lifeline.

Happy 31st Birthday to Justin as well on the 28th. There are a few pictures but they did not turn out well, so I am going to be a good wife today and not post them.

Happy Birthday to my favorite boys!!

For a list of early voting locations clich here: http://elections.utah.gov/Early%20Voting%20Location%202008.pdf

Rachel Bills, Lauren and Mike Ricci, myself and Justin get a....
(really is it just the U football crew that vote??)

Anyone else that vote's will get added :) Including myself.

15 hours of.....

Last Thursday Cole slept 15 hours through the night! He has always been a great sleeper but seriously 15 hours? I put him down for a late nap at 5 and left for dinner with some girlfriends. When I came home Justin said he never woke up for dinner. I asked him "did you check on him? Is he breathing?" Like his mother, missing a meal never happens. So off to dreamland he stayed until 8 am. Crazy. My mom said he must have been in a growth spurt and needed his rest. Then on Saturday I noticed he could do this.....see pic below.

He is not even on his tip-toes.

I know touching the doorknob is no big whoop - but are most 11 month old's that tall? I would have to say no - since he is in the 98% for height and that was 2 months ago. So, I am hoping he is not smart enough to figure out how to turn the doorknob. His hand are also huge though - so just by accident it will probably happen soon.

Bailey was watching Cole in action. Intently waiting for the door to open so he could try to get away. One may think??? Isn't that dog big enough to just step or slightly hop over that tiny baby gate? Not our dog. He's not that smart, thank goodness.

Cabo San Lucas

We had a great time in Cabo. The weather was perfect and no one was mugged, which in Mexico is about all you can ask for. It was really nice to spend a few days with Justin with no work or cell phones. We did miss Cole so much. I may or may not have held a complete strangers baby in the pool.

Our lifelong traveling partners the Bills's were great company. I don't think we took one picture where one of us isn't laughing out loud. Unlike our other trips to Mexico we were offered drugs on more than one occasion. Luckily a few of us are D.A.R.E. (drug abuse resistance education) graduates so we were able to say no. I keep thinking...what was different this trip? Do we look more like drug users than the last few time? Is that what having children does to you?

Pic of Justin and I we are both laughing. It was the only one that looked half decent.

In the picture below we were at a restaurant called the Giggling Marlin.

Below is the famous Cabo arch and Lovers beach. The pic is a little squirly since we were on a rocking boat.

Justin and I para sailing. It was lots of fun. All we saw was a flying fish and a dead pelican. Yuck.

Justin after going on the doon buggy. They were filthy. They told a girl in the hotel they had been mugged after she asked why they were so dirty.

Rachel and I went to the spa while they were out in the hot sun. I had my first and last massage buy a guy. I didn't think to request a female. It weirded me out. I know they are professionals but it was too strange for me to relax. Even funnier is that Rachel and I were in the same room. When the boys booked it they must have given the spa girls the impression that we wanted them together. How many friends can say they had a couples massage together.
The Cabo Group. I asked some man to take our picture (since he was laughing at our conversation earlier) his wife gave us - well me the death stare the rest of dinner and then again at breakfast. I thought it was funny, so I would just smile and wave.

Below is the elevator - we still don't know which one we were supposed to push.


Justin and I thought this was funny - which way would you go?

Pic at the pool. If you notice it is surrounded by shade. Justin and Rachel are not sun friendly. At one point we had 5 umbrellas for 4 people. A girl came by and asked if she could have one of the umbrellas. When I told her we were using them, she asked "ALL of them"?

The food was alright. We are not overly picky. I really enjoyed the translations. The one below is my favorite and that it was food we were supposed to eat at breakfast.

Which Grey's Anatomy character are you???

Go RAMS.

So I have now read 4 of these highschool tags - so I guess I am officially tagged x4. So here goes.

Did you date someone from your high school?

I think I would have been considered a serial dater. I always had a “serious” boyfriend. Same went for college too.

What kind of car did you drive?

Big surprise here. A Jeep.

What is your most embarrassing moment in high school?

I had so many it was hard to pick #1. At Christmas dance as a sophomore while exiting the carriage downtown in front of Carnigie Hall I fell out of the carriage. My heel got caught in the little platform and down I went. Luckily Santa appeared and helped me up since my date and around 20 strangers looked on and laughed. I ripped the bottom of my dress and broke a fake nail. Good Memories.

Were you a party animal?

Not really. Luckily for me I had really good friends, or else I probably would have been in a lot of trouble. Now as for my college friends………that’s another story.

Were you considered a flirt?

Yes. I believe I still am. I have talked my way out of ticket or two in the past few years.

Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?

Choir, only to fulfill a credit though.

Were you a nerd?

No. I wasn’t smart enough. I was forced to join and participate in the physics club. My friend Lisa Rowland and I had a teacher Mr. S, who offered us extra credit to build a solar car and enter it in the physics club contest. He said he needed more girls in the physics club. We built it with 99% of the credit going to her dad. Our little car was the slowest. We did make the physics club look good though.

Were you on any varsity teams?

No. I was a cheerleader.

Did you get suspended/expelled?

No. I was almost taken to juvenile hall by a police officer when a friend and I were skipping school and were pulled over. At Highland if you were picked up during school hours by the police they took you downtown and your parents had to come get you. Somehow I talked my way out of getting taken in.

Can you still sing the fight song?

Yes. Sing and still do the little dance. I feel lame that I still can though.

Who were your favorite teachers?

Mr. S. he taught physics and math. Also just for blog fun, my junior year my history teacher Mr. Brimley was arrested and sent to prison for embezzlement. The rest of the year we had a substitute. All she did was show movies such as Forest Gump and Newsies. I learned a lot that year.

Where did you sit during lunch?

Never at school. We ate out every day. My favorite was Dell Taco.

School & Mascot?

Highland High. Ram

Did you go to homecoming and with whom?

Yes. 3 years and 3 different guys. Chris, Spencer and Sid.

If you could go back and do it again, would you?

Some parts.

What do you remember most about graduation?

The jazz were in the playoffs. Most of the boys had headphones on listening to the game. During one of the boring speeches someone updated the crowd with the score and everyone cheered.

Where did you go senior skip day?

I think we went boating. My senior year I spent a lot of time doing anything than going to school.

What was the best part of high school?

My friends. I had 2 favorites – Hillary and Marielle. We had a lot of fun.

Alright blog friends. Time to take a trip down memory lane and dish your HS stories. Tag to you :)

Trip to Missouri

Our little family spent the last week in Missouri visiting my parents where my dad is the Mission President. We had a Utah Star sighting while visiting. Can anyone guess the man on the left in the picture? The gentleman on the left is Duane Cardall, who has been on KSL 5 news for years as an anchor and the religion specialist. He and my dad were companions in Holland 40 years+ ago.I must say that they both have pretty great hair for being 63+.

My mom was nice and bought Cole a bunch of toys to play with while we were visiting. Unfortunately he found her exercise bands and free weights fascinating. He would crawl out of the room with the toys and plop down in the middle of the weights. It was funny.

Here is Cole crawling around pulling a 6 lb weight everywhere. I have to admit it did slow him down quite a bit.

The home they live in is nice. Most of the house has been updated except the master bath. This red tub is HUGE. The pic's don't do it justice. It is even up on a platform all alone. Cole loves it he could crawl all around.

Cole and my mom.

I left for a few minuets to find my mom teaching Cole how to crawl through a hoop. Why?.... I still don't know but I guess it is a good sign that he caught on faster than Bailey did.