So I stole this from my friend Rori. Thanks Rori!!!!! Except I am not blogger savvy enough to get the video to actually be on the blog, so you can click on the link. I thought it was pretty funny. Hope you all enjoy. Only a few more days until Christmas.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
A Politically Correct Christmas Poem
I found this online and thought it was funny, yet sad. Christmas was so much easier when we were younger. I think it is more fun now though. Merry Christmas.
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves","Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the North Pole, were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety, released to the wilds, by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear, that Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh, because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA, And millions of people were calling the Cops, when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened, and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".
To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose. He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation, demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.
So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life, joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz, demanding from now on that her title was Ms.
And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion that making a choice could cause such commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her. Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot, Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific, Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth. And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden, were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden, for they raised the hackles of those psychological, who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt, besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe. Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,he just couldn't figure out what to do next?He tried to be merry he tried to be gay, but you must have to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground, nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might, give to us all, without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision, each group of people in every religion. Every race, every hue, everyone, everywhere...even you! So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH"
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves","Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the North Pole, were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety, released to the wilds, by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear, that Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh, because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA, And millions of people were calling the Cops, when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened, and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".
To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose. He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation, demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.
So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life, joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz, demanding from now on that her title was Ms.
And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion that making a choice could cause such commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her. Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot, Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific, Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth. And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden, were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden, for they raised the hackles of those psychological, who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt, besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe. Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,he just couldn't figure out what to do next?He tried to be merry he tried to be gay, but you must have to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground, nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might, give to us all, without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision, each group of people in every religion. Every race, every hue, everyone, everywhere...even you! So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH"
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Seriously
Seriously I don't have patience for certain things. I was trying to change my background to a fancy festive Christmas template and somehow I lost my blog list and the fancy festive Christmas template did not work. I definitely do not have a computer certificate of completion from ITT tech but it shouldn't be that hard. (sorry Bill's family that was joke to you hehe). I spent 10 minuets re-adding all my blogs, never clicked the save button and accidentally lost them all again. I almost gave up blogging all together at that moment.
Is it just me or has this happened to others. Also, sorry if your blog didn't make the cut. I will add it back eventually. Happy blogging.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Thanksgiving Extravaganzza
Yea! Thanksgiving is over. It was a whirlwind of a week. It started out on Wednesday with my IUD going missing. No, I am not going to go into detail on this. If you know me well enough to read my blog you may ask all you want about it. I am happy to be a public service announcement on IUD's so just ask, I may even draw some sort of diagram. Anyway, I am not pregnant and after a trip to the Doctor and a trip to the hospital it was all sorted out. All I could think about during the whole ordeal was I had a million things to get done since I had house guests coming that evening. Thank you to Wendy for the pep talk and Justin for taking off work and getting the rest of my "to do" list done. Thanksgiving day was funny. My test turkey a few weeks back took 2 hours longer than expected and the actual T-day turkey was done 2 hours early. Go figure. Lucky for me most of our guests arrived 3 hours earlier than expected so I just had to call a few people and tell them the time for dinner had changed from 5:00 to right now.
We asked for any volunteer's to say a blessing. My 8 year old nephew Tristan was the first (and only) volunteer. His prayer was as follows "Dear Heavenly Father, please bless the food will be GOOD and that Issac will come up later to play". It was the best and shortest Thanksgiving blessing I had ever heard. His prayers must have been heard since the food turned out pretty good.
Some of the nieces and nephews. Poor Cole he was so confused with all the people in the house.
Justin's brothers and sisters.One broken treadmill (thanks nephews) 5 dishwasher cycles and a few loads of laundry and Thanksgiving was over. Sunday our last house guests left and the house felt strangely calm. It really was fun to have a house full of Albrecht's. Maybe I am a sucker but I think we will do it again next year. 
Cole helping with the basting.
The girls. We never did get a picture of the men, or the whole group for that matter. Oh well, there is always next year. I like that I look exhausted and that I have some type of food or stain on my shirt that no one told me about.
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